SPACESANDBARS

2012 GOALS

2012-02-13T00:51:00.007+08:00

reach goal weight
train cardio
to overcome fear of water // learn how to swim!
new glasses
to own a decent camera Olympus PEN
blackberry bold2 as a second phone oh how i miss you 23BCF058 which ive traded sold it out to get my current SII :'(
owns a corset // relieves backpain
consider Lasix surgery
vacation with best friend
grow [healthy and shiny] hair
transferred back to Penang

2011-08-19T23:46:00.000+08:00

what i just dont get is that why does the male species just had the tendency urge to break everything off every time when there's an disagreement or even a little tiny weeny row.

i thought we should work it and tolerate each other?

and they're claiming that they're such simple species. to hell with that.
they're the ones who are beyond imaginable outer space complexity here.

2011-08-19T21:55:00.000+08:00

source: inmystrawberryfield

2011-08-14T19:24:00.001+08:00

I hate the fact that men are such a visual creatures. I wonder what's the purpose of god created them that way anyway, other than making the female species life miserable and self-esteem killers.

And I hate the fact that I've to endure this stupid shit for as long as I'm a woman until the day I die.

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

i can float anytime now

2011-08-12T17:46:00.000+08:00

seriously Body, i super fucking loathe you.

its bad enough for you not able to gain weight even 0.5kg even when my life depends on it, now you're shedding it even more.

and i don't even have many to begin with but now that i lost awesomely a whole lot 6 kilos,

why don't you just shed even more so that i can be left with only skin, veins, and eyeballs.
i'd be much happier that way.

thank you so much.

2011-08-09T23:35:00.002+08:00

aaaaaaaaa i want that hairrrrrrr...and that face. lol

2011-08-09T22:01:00.000+08:00

just when i had all the confidence in the world, you just had to burst my bubbles and make my self esteem drop down plummet like a meteor towards earth and vanish into thin air.

2011-08-08T00:42:00.003+08:00

i'd like to grow out my hair again
for no particular reason
and obviously i wont look as good as hers
just that i feel like it
somewhat bored with being mid-short now.
lets just see how long can i go with this, this time.
hopefully i'd get to really take good care of it unlike the last time round where its a total failure.
but somehow i don't really feel like my hair is growing out :/
its still like stuck at same slightly above shoulder.

/sigh

even my body is so up against my brain doing all sorts of the other way round instead with what my brain is thinking it would like to be.

oh life.

see through

2011-08-08T00:22:00.002+08:00

if only i could,
i would like to know whats going on in your head
when you said every word you said so that i would have no doubt in believing you

if only i could,
i would like to know what you're thinking
when you're surrounded with all the pretty girls around you

if only i could,
i would like to know.

but then again,
its better this way i guess.

i don't think i'm prepared to know it afterall.

behind bars

2011-08-07T03:36:00.005+08:00

saturday was my half day over-time, but it turns out somewhat haywire when i was trapped in my own house with no keys
(i left it at my department in my overall's pocket on friday -_-)
and so i couldn't get to work this morning.

one of my housemate is in the house actually but she's sleeping so i wasnt really the type of person to wake people up just for my own mistake and so my god damn inner dark side says to not wake her up and skip work altogether -_-
and so i texted my supervisor saying that i was trapped without any keys even my life depends on it. and surprisingly she didnt reply and guess what i went back to sleep...until 2.

waking up to lover boy's text and saying that how bad i was not to go to work yadayada cause i was key-less yadayada and so he scolded me for being so irresponsible (yeahyeah) and saying that im a govern(ment) servant and saying that i shouldnt be doing such things following my bad inner desire(?) simply cause this is not the place for me to rebel or whatnot. since i could be giving the whole department a bad reputation since this case could get the whole department into trouble to the higher level and so yes that gave me a slap on my face.

so again i was wondering why the hell my supervisor didnt reply me and turns out that i copied the wrong number (incomplete digit) from my main number (which was credit-less and i had to copy to my other number) this is the problem of having two lines geh orz

and so yes she freaked out and asking me to go to work right that instance since she's afraid it could get us trouble ._.
oh by the way our half-day overtime entitles us for morning shifts 8am-12pm. there is no such thing as afternoon shifts or whatnot for us. and on weekends, its a one-man-show, one person is in-charged on that day.

so yeah i have no idea whether i could get my overtime claims or not :|

its a record i worked my ass off from 233pm till 633pm on a saturday woot!

man, i got some nerves.
i dont really portray being a zombie-ish;-govern(ment)-slave now do i.
heh.

2011-08-01T13:20:00.002+08:00

This is becoming such a routine.

And I'm getting sick of it

Ugh

I hate weekdays.

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Senyuman dia lagi menawan

2011-08-01T01:38:00.002+08:00

):

That's what you said.

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

2011-07-31T00:34:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, sometimes I just wished that I have never met you.

It hurts.

I hate you.

/stabstabstabstabstabs

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

kids

2011-07-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

Teman setia untuk 6 bulan seterusnya

so being in Peadiatric's every single day is making my
hormonal-balance/motherly-instinct is starting to somewhat develop.
And its creeping me out ;_;

its making me wanting babies ._.

to think that you'd have to play with babies and kids e.v.e.r.y. s.i.n.g.l.e day for the next 6 months does not help.

and hell being a parent is not easy T_T

so yeah parents are somewhat superhero with super awesome powers.
period.

insecurities kills the cat

2011-07-19T20:50:00.000+08:00

if only i were extra 20lbs, so that i could at least at least fill in those pants of mine.

sigh

transparent

2011-07-19T00:55:00.001+08:00

today is our monthsary and somehow it was tainted by the fact that our relationship coverup from our colleague's-profession-circle has been somewhat almost busted.

its not that i dont want them to know,
its just that at this point thinking that im still a junior and having a relationship (married would be another whole lot story) within the same profession is bound to be known or talked among the staffs as we among the staffs throughout the country somewhat almost know all the people among our profession line,
especially the seniors moreover our department is like in the same state!

and it doesnt help much the fact that these kind of
conventional-typical-old-minded people
(it doesnt matter whether they're young or old)
they still have the same mind set and they just couldnt shut their mouth and mind their own business! and feeds on talking behind other people's back and whatnot.

aaaaaanyways

all this happens cause yours truly dengan berbesar hatinya
bloody accepted her colleague's in facebook
yeah i know theres no one to blame except me myself and i
i should've known that work and life shouldnt be mixed.

and the thought that a mere 'hide-folder/privacy group' could keep these stalker bug away, is absolutely not happening :|

but atleast it did worked all these while until someone dengan bijak pandai decided to upload our recent picture using my bloody facebook account instead of his! and he should've known that i dont simply upload things :/ and yes its my fault indeed that i've terlepas pandang.

and oh the one that have been religiously stalking me is the boskecik. she has been stalking me and the rest of the people she added anyways so i thought theres no harm :/
but turns out lepas national conference on the 11 July 2011 which was MC-ed by the loverboy and participated by the boskecik, boskecik dah encountered the loverboy and she has all the time in the world sanggup open up my facebook account and comparing them trough my old pictures! that bloody woman.

she said this morning
"eh, i nak tanya you ni"

"your boyfriend (insert profession here) (insert tempat bertugas here) yaaaaaaaaa"

and i was like fucccccccccckk you woman!

"eh eh tak la madam, mana ada boyfriend i (insert profession here)"
"mana madam tengok dia?? hahahaha"

yes lame, i know T_T

"nanti i tunjuk gambar dia ya"
"i tengok dia dengan dalam facebook you sama tau sebijik!"

"omg ye ke madam?! ok ok nanti tunjuk i, nak tengok hehe"

and during all those in between i was hoping that she could've forgotten or something T_T and my mind was so occupied nak cari excuses and making up stories not to mention making up the loverboy's name!

and i guess ladyluck was not on my side today, lepas phonecall with the boyfriend during lunch which obviously ive told him everything and asking him to help making up stories that is, theres this another bloody bitch datang just at the exact moment im hanging up with the boyfriend and my stupid phone time tu jugak la was still showing the boyfriend's name on the screen orz
and so this bitch pun like

"whoaaaaa, oh zdn! zdn, zdn! sekarang i dah tau apa nama you punya boyfriend!" hahahaha

sidenote/ this bitch also has been making fun of me and the boyfriend ever since we bumped into each other at ikea but she has no idea about all these thing only that shes been making fun of me saying that all i ever do on weekends is going out and date :|

and she was like literally saying it out loud masa tengah jalan T_T and i was praying hard that boskecik was not around to hear all those (obviously she would have known the MC's name kan/kalau taktau pun dia akan cari or called up his dept and yadayada) if not my lame alibi of not knowing the person shes saying masa dekat conference would be useless T_T

and somehow boskecik did show me loverboy's pic which is their group photo ._. and i still bermati-matian saying that thats not my boyfriend orz
im so sorry sayang just for once i do not admit this orz

and idk whether she believed it or not ._. 98.9% of me saying she didnt buy it ._.

fml.

i shall dig my own grave now.

Where the urban escapes

2011-07-17T13:05:00.006+08:00

After years and years of longing to go, I've finallly went.
Nothing special though. Only that the music was great.
Scored me some thrifted vest and a dress was meant to get some accessories but then somehow the prices are a bit highpriced and I don't have the urge much and we went late btw so there's nothing good left anyways. and i didn't get the chance to meet aki too, too bad she had to left early and we came so late in the evening :(

sigh i need a real camera.

and oh a new flippers too.

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

the invinsible swords

2011-07-11T01:09:00.006+08:00

indeed as people say words are truly indeed swords.
every little thing you've said to another person depending on how and what you've said is deemed to be forever remembered by another human, or atleast it left scars, an invinsible scars.

and yes,

it hurts. badly.

on another note,there goes another one extra additional thing to worry my heart out now :/

aaaanyways career-wise, every 6 months we're entitled to rotate our disciplinary so my Electrotherapy-site where my battle in having to 'layan' all the various crappiness life has to offer has now officially ended. bravo.

from now on the day where i get to do kids has started. i'm now in Peadiatrics section where i'd be payed for to be drooled/salivated by, to be thrown by toys and scream at and played with the kids and adorable babies :)

Faulty

2011-06-28T22:58:00.000+08:00

Sigh

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I can't grow fat. I hate this stupid endless self-battle of mine.

And yes, yes you deserves better.
Run along now, shuh.

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Le thar gic

2011-06-21T23:24:00.000+08:00

ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

:(

penatnyaa

Ps/ my nose is freakin red, from sunburnt

Ps2/ and my body is aching all oooverrrrrrrrrr damit

Sigh

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Escapism

2011-06-20T10:54:00.000+08:00

Savoring every last moment

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Me and you

2011-06-05T02:07:00.001+08:00

So what's up with me lately
having these multiple wild dreams of you having an affair with some girls. Which in the end busted out in which whether you confessed it out loud or that I knew it eventually in the end.

So what's up with you lately
having all these multiple conversation with me that you're gonna tone up and lose weight and try your luck in those beauty-model/advertisement industry and hitching yourself up with those hot chicks and dumping me?

So what's up with you lately
that has been complaining on and on about me? You ought to do that long ago when we first met instead of now after all these while. And you should have make up your mind long ago instead of hurting me now with your fucking words. Words, your fucking words is poison.

And I ought to know better that I shouldn't trust you.

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Dull

2011-06-05T01:41:00.001+08:00

Life has nothing but work work and work. Sigh

But yeah I've tons to update actually but since I've no any other medium to blog about freely and easily other than this rusty phone of mine its kinda demotivating me to type out long post and such. Sigh when can I get my hands on a new laptop tsk :'(

Anyways yeah life has been work work and working and yet I'm broke as evar. And tomorrow will be one of those bazaar again, will be dating amal <3 my bazaar shopping buddy :) I do hope that I could score me some good bags without giving me the second-multiple times of thought whether I should get or not.

And boo I'm working half day tomorrow till noon so yeah picking up amal after that.

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Blank

2011-05-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

If only life is as simple as a jigsaw puzzle where you can simply rearrange and place it again when you've fuck messed it up.
Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

2011-04-12T19:18:00.003+08:00

I MISS GENTING I MISS SUNWAY LAGOON
I MISS TAMBUN LOSTWORLD I MISS ALTON TOWERS
I MISS PARIS DISNEY THEME PARK
I MISS MY STARCRUISE RIDE
I FUCKING MISS HAVING FUCKING FUN
I MISS THOSE DAYS WHERE I GO ON VACAY WITH MY PARENTS
WHEN CAN I HAVE THOSE MOMENTS AGAIN

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

2011-04-05T23:36:00.001+08:00

And so its decided that I'm now officially attending the fucked up induction course which I loathe and been avoiding all these while not that avoiding its just that I don't really care to apply for it.

now that I'm servicing under different state and there's this particular person in the same intake as I am in the department having all this patriotic eager energy applying for her induction course and with all the generosity and helped me with mine too. And thus the sudden and somewhat efficient surat tawaran came to me for the induction. /sigh

Okay yes I'm all aware that it'll be my lost if I prolonged this so-called induction, my pengesahan jawatan will obviously be dragged on. And honestly I don't really care much. Heh.

Oh it will be from 15th-28th April. That's 14 fucking days! My brain will be sucked out from all the indoctrinating(?). I just hope that I'll be coming back with my brain of mind and not zombie-polluted-ish mind.

On a side note it'll be at Port Dickson Glory Beach Resort. Wohoooo(?) :D NOT.

I'd rather being all stressed up and do my shitloads than being there doing that.

Kbai. I'm gonna cherish every possible moment of my life now.

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

:( :( :(

2011-03-16T21:16:00.001+08:00

Seriously? It hits me in the face knowing that even we're living under one roof doesn't necessarily mean that 'we're family kind of attitude' I mean come on aku nak pinjam broadband kejap je kot just to update my software installation and I'm good to go dah boleh connect and online with my bloody phone after the update! Bukannya aku nak leech and guna kau punya the whole day and night. I've got my own la people! Sheessh

Sigh

I shall do more good deeds. Karma is starting to get bitchy on me :(

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Post op day 11

2011-02-27T10:50:00.004+08:00

WOOT DAH BOLEH BALIK ♥

So dad just got the order from the doctors ward round this morning for PM DISCHARGE :)

So petang baru boleh balik after reports billings and everythings settled but I havta go back dah this morning :(

And this is the first time I'm driving alone.

Tamaaaaaauuuuu balik and werk

Orz

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premature post vacay syndrome attack

2011-02-25T08:52:00.003+08:00

semalam the big B dah cari aku and ruined my mood
Its only friday barulah eff.

I don't wanna go to werrrrrrrrrkkkk
I wanna play all day ._.

HappythoughtsHappythoughts
HappythoughtsHappythoughts
HappythoughtsHappythoughts
HappythoughtsHappythoughts
HappythoughtsHappythoughts

Argh.

the bitterness

2011-02-24T21:07:00.004+08:00

IhateemotionsIhateemotionsIhateemotionsIhateemotions

emotions are just purely such a nuisance

why are we humans gifted with these again?

i hate you.

i hate work.

i gave up on gaining weight its forever is pointless.

i hate life itself. because its hard.

so yeah i've no strong will power

i gave up easily when im down

i hate the way you throw me your oblivious hurtful words.

it hurts.

metaphoricly its like slitting my heart out

and you poured on some lemonade on it

and add on some corrosive bathroom detergent

and everytime,

i had to hold back my tears

and everytime,

i had to fake a smile

and these..

forever will be a battle

post op day 7 & 8

2011-02-24T20:54:00.002+08:00

basicly theres nothing to update on now lol we're just merely enjoying our days here until thedoctors gave us the last word :)

and we've already changed beds now to the last um cubicle/area? where it determines whether you're the most on top priority patient or the least important so now we're in the least important category so JYEAH!

The virgin

2011-02-23T23:38:00.001+08:00

I got hit for the first time by a car from behind today and it was pretty much an experience I must say

And it was on a day where I decided that I wouldn't want to go back home so early from the hospital but mom insisted me to, right there and then cause was afraid that I would stuck in a jam where its lunch hour and budak-balik-sekolah-hour so yeah since she insisted i'd just had to go lah kan and since its still early I was planning I could drop by the mall for awhile.

Buuuut, shit happens

It happened at the traffic light where its about to go green then BAM! I was lyk shit and looked in the rear mirror and thought wth did the lorry hit me? And I started panicky and started cursing and all Cause the 1st thing I saw was a lorry (well, yang kecik ah) but then a lady came out (it was proton aeroback btw) and thankfully she's the type who admits that its her fault and all and saying she's in a rush and her kid was jumping all over in her car yadayada and so we decided to go to another spot since we were in the middle of traffic.

and sure enough I couldn't drive carefully I was still trembling but still I have to managed myself to go to the next spot. Then suddenly she blurted out saying 'adik kak norli ka?' I was lyk WTF 'umm a'a kenal ka?' Then I dialled mom and let mom talked to her and yaddayadda and yeah since beginning pun yeah she did admit she'll pay for everything so I wasn't so worried much heh.

But I did gave the F word the moment I saw my plate number on the road and bumper was 'termasuk dalam' (not kemek btw) and yeah I did gave her a bad impression by cursing infront of her which I think its rude cause she knew my family and yeah I don't feel comfortable about that but gah!

oh and I was driving my parents car :|

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The hopeless

2011-02-23T00:01:00.002+08:00

Texting/informing/talking/updating or any other form of communication with you lately is just completely hopeless. You won't be taking it in into ur system and I have to repeat myself lyk a fucking 100000x times.

And I really don't mind if its remeh-temeh and such but when it comes to those big deals please take it into account cause its such an annoyance and a pain and it hurts to know that it seems like its non of your concern. It seems like there's other things in your mind when we communicate. And you haven't been in contact with me lately like you used to.

We're drifting apart aren't we?

And I'm getting fed-up with you. Tak larat nak cakap dan tak guna pun cakap cause then I need to repeat again the next time.

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Post op day 6

2011-02-22T21:25:00.002+08:00

All the foreign objects on dad's body has been taken off already i.e IV drip,plasters,benang-op site so yeah basicly we're just waiting for the Doc's green light to go home which is still a mystery

Anyways dad has no complaint of having pain or anything on his op-site/chest be it while resting or coughing or sneezing so alhamdulillah for that :) it's quite a surprise since most patients will be having those pain so yeah thank god for that ♥

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post op day 5

2011-02-21T21:10:00.002+08:00

woot dad's no longer on oxy support! x)

and dah boleh jalan-jalan and even read the newspaper!

any day now to go homeeeee :)

Post op day 4

2011-02-20T21:59:00.002+08:00

Dad has been transferred out to cardiac ward this evening at 1530hrs. As of now I'm at the ward, it sure does feel different at night compared to the usual visits I've been doing during the day.

And I'm trying hard not to think the myths of the hospital washroom during night time. And hopefully just hopefully I don't have to go there at the middle of the night please god.

But anyways as long as my dad's doing well now I'm happy and thankful enough :)

Alhamdulillah

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post op day 3

2011-02-19T21:25:00.002+08:00

dad is getting better now infact he's becoming more and more of himself and able to BEBEL-ing to us x)
only that he's still penat upon moving (even if the slightest movt can cause the monitor blinking red) but yeah still under the cicu (cardiac icu) care with the oxygen support

alhamdulillah :)

that's why i hate you

2011-02-19T16:14:00.003+08:00

you kept on giving false hope. why must you promised to people the things you cant/dont know yet whether you can keep just say you're not sure or better yet i'll try but i don't promise. why must it be so hard? . you once stopped doing those things, and now you're starting it all over again. remember the story the boy who cried wolf? at one point i dont think i can believe you anymore

creatures from the unknown world

2011-02-19T02:06:00.004+08:00

bitch, can you just not feed on people's misery? i can even hear your evil laugh from the end of the line. how on earth did i ever survived living being 24/7 seeing your fucking face for 3+ significant years, is truly amazing. even seeing your name on my phone screen is making me puke. the memories of having you as a so-called friend who stabs people in the back and having such sweet angelic face upfront and being so fucking insane hasad dengki is beyond words can describe. god the memories is very very appalling. how i wish you'd never existed in my life. go and fuck someone else's life. and stop with the plastic concern you're giving me i dont need it from you, bitch.

Post op day 2

2011-02-18T18:56:00.000+08:00

Dad is getting better now with occasional penat vital signs getting stable HR78, BP 151/68, RR 28, spo2 95-98% with high-flow mask oxygen support.

He's able to eat (small amount) and they've allowed him to sit on the deck chair also :)

Hope everythings going fine and stable now and throughout the recovery insyaallah
Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Post op day 1

2011-02-17T16:25:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah dad is getting better he's alert and conscious now with high-flow mask oxygen support with stable vital signs
BP 142/78
HR 78
SPO2 98%
RR 20-23

He's even in prop-up sitting position which is big improvement for day 1 op patients. Only that he's still unable to speak.

Alhamdulillah syukur

But yeah he's still in the cardiac icu which we're allowed to meet him during visiting hours 1-2pm, 5-7pm and only 2 person is allowed per time

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2011-02-16T19:20:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah dad is out from the operation theatre at 1515hrs and now being monitored in ICU for atleast 48 hours.

I know I've seen a lot of heart cases and dealing with ICU's patient and all it just that when it happens to your very own family then only you will feel how hard and difficult it is and all the emotions...

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah segala kesulitan

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

2011-02-16T10:37:00.001+08:00

I don't know how to say this but dad is now undergoing coronary bypass graft surgery (CABG) . He went into the operation theatre at 0905hrs just now and it would take roughly around 5-8hrs according to what the specialist say.

I know this is sudden but yeah

He was recently diagnosed with heart problem in nov and this is the 2nd admission for having some difficulty in breathing since october so yeah it is sudden..

I don't know how to put this but do pray for us

Ya Allah lindungilah dan izinkanlah semua berjalan lancar amin ya rabbala'lamin

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

FRIDAYYYY

2011-02-11T13:25:00.002+08:00

i cant help but feel freaking euphoric on fridays x) and all fucking gloomy depressed on mondays.

off for a nap a bit now.

lots of paperwork to be done and presentation to attend this 2nd half session this afternoon. hope i can manage to drag myself to get up at 2pm to do all those unsettled document. gah.

The price of living

2011-02-10T23:25:00.001+08:00

Work stress is giving me a toll on my body. Its starting to go haywire with frequents bad headaches at night. Being hungry but I just can't make myself eat especially breakfast which I rarely miss on my workdays since forever but now I'm starting to skip it for quite sometime now.

Losing weight is a must. Not that I have many to begin with but yeah no matter how much I hate to admit, I'm a walking skeleton zombie. The hard work of gaining that extra 5kgs now is gone to waste and that would take eons to gain it back. Sigh.

Oh yeah don't let me start on my menstrual cycle. Its so fucked up now.

No wonder people nowadays are dying young.

How I wish I could just go back to my kiddie days. ):

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:(

2011-02-05T20:31:00.003+08:00

am i like the only who feels that the the world spin alot lot faster now?

its freaking february 2011 already and im not getting any younger D:

its a freaking whole new decade and it feels like i've wasted my whole life doing nothing and i haven't gain anything be it knowledge, being good to God, the sense of responsibility, financially, new skills, and let alone physical weight. sigh.

x x

sunday will be the last day of the long weekend holiday and i don't feel like going back to work. can i just opt for early retirement? :/

x x

im having dilemma whether to apply for another transfer. cause im starting to feel like i should be living with my parents instead. i should start thinking about them instead of being selfish. but then again it's not like i haven't considered them or anything infact ever since i've tranfered to Klang i've been having this sense of guilt bothering me. yes, i've been such a shit for the past few months being depressed and all about living in kl and whatnot but sigh i dont know things changed i guess.

i've been offered by my junior to mutual exchange with her from klang to penang but the thing is working in penang is like commiting suicide since GHpenang is well known to be the most not so work-friendly environment with the office-politics being the shit worst there. and workload.

god.

GHpenang being the top 2 from the malaysia hospitals ranking. HKL would be the first. so you could figure it out already.

sigh.

life, why must it be so hard :(

THANK YOU FOR LENDING YOUR PC MR-YOU-KNOW-WHO-YOU-ARE. :D

2011-01-25T23:50:00.004+08:00

I CAN FINNALY ONLINE ON A FREAKIN REAL DESKTOP WITHOUT IT GETTING SHUT DOWN EVERY 20 MINUTES!

oh btw my laptop is still getting ~~fixed~~ changing the chip set(?) or so the guy says. and this is the second time its getting fixed, since the 1st was a failure cause we opted for the cheaper alternative turns out that it is indeed cheap since it cant even last for 3 days without it getting overheated(?) again and yes thank god its under warranty if not my precious rm180 wasted just like that T_T

final words

2011-01-23T18:43:00.002+08:00

hate it everytime we argue you just had to brought up the parting issue. why must it be an issue after all in the first place? i thought every living couple creature do argue all the time. how are we suppose to live our life's together when every little bits of argument we had, you're thinking of breaking up?

i know it's a sign you're giving up on me but can you atleast please kindly do it clearly and say it while you're having a clear mind and thinking without being influenced by your fucking short temper?

thats all im asking.

say, say those final words of yours when you're thinking straight. without you screaming at my face saying those harsh words. even if we're meant to be parted, say it nicely.

2011-01-23T18:08:00.000+08:00

UR FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE YOU ASSHOLE. PERGI MAMPUS LAH KAU FOR ALL I CARE.

2011-01-06T23:02:00.000+08:00

I WANT MY MID-LENGTH HAIR BACK. I MISS YOU.

NOW PLEASE HAIR, FASTER GROWWWW

exhaustion

2011-01-06T22:23:00.001+08:00

i'd proly die of mental and physical exhaustion i think :C

somehow i'd really really wish that i could just passed out in between or something so that the big shot alert that i really can't cope up with all this crazy shit 2 person load. I can't even sempat to go to the bathroom until lunch hour man. Gila.

And yeah another 21 reports added to the already-waiting-stack to be written.

And i have no idea when can i find the time to do those. I already tried bringing it home but hell it feels fucking nauseous just by looking at those efin kad kuning (the filing documentation) and i can't make my self to do it. Hopefully i can make it by noon on friday since its the long hour lunch time.

Hopefully. Sigh.

two zero one one

2011-01-06T00:23:00.001+08:00

hello there.

Life without technology is indeed living in a cave. Its been three days now eversince aki drop me off on sunday and i havent been anywhere else except work-home and i feel like shit. Gila tepu with no entertainment transport whatso ever with my half dead (sorry mE u.u) laptop does not help much.

And work starting to get crazy again with crazy shit workload. The work of a 4 person had to be loaded on 2. Awesomeness.

Anyways ive just read mE's blog and it occured to me that it seems that as long as you're working, and no matter where you're working, there must be something or someone that'll be the STRESS factor of your working-life? I guess when its called a job, then it'll automatically translated to stress.

hang in there mE ;_;

oh btw its been three days now that i havent written a single documentation which supposedly to be done every per patient ive seen right there and then but then the awesome workload just had to be NONE STOP coming in until i havent had the chance to write anything pun! which roughly im having around 16-20 per day so that sums up around 60 reports not including thursday and friday (yet) to be done and i havent got a clue if i even can recall what to write in those. FYEAH! 8D

That Jingles

2010-12-05T23:30:00.004+08:00

Its December :)
the only month and time of the year i looked forward to.

just because;
it's my month of birth
the only time most of my siblings gather up.
and for some reason its a school holiday in which in my school days that i very much looked forward to ( for all the cartoon shows marathon on tv or vacation with mom and dad ♥)
THE COUNTDOWN TO NEW YEARS WITH ALL THE PRETTY FIREWORKS
end of the year where mostly people get to laze around with less work and festive mood!
its Christmas (for the decorations and shows on tv) and winter time in which we're having rain here and the weather is cloudy and cold(?) perfect for snuggling on the bed :D
if only it snows here in malaysia and it'll be perfect.

okayyy so another 26 days it'll be 2011. and i'm still stuck with this stupid weight of mine since forever. i guess i'll die skinny and will never ever know how it feels to actually HAVE meat. sigh.

this template is getting boring. i need to change these ASAP
curse you laptop for being so unreliable. i need to get you fixed or better yet REPLACED you :B i need money. why wont some random rich bastards just throw me some extra cashhhhhhh

oh btw i dont have any access to internet for now. blame all the telcos with all their bulls package.

and dad was admitted for 3 days. Alhamdulillah he's fine now, we got home today ♥

um thats all i can think of for the update.

bye now.

OH WOW

2010-12-05T23:03:00.003+08:00

THIS PAGE IS ANCIENT

2010-09-08T13:51:00.002+08:00

and i dont really do well with wishes and festives. And i dont think i have a proper wish post on festives and event here but somehow this time i just feel like it and just the thought that we're like half shortage of the staff most of them on leave already and half of them taken halfday today so yeah being left behind sucks. Even suckier when its post raya later on.. Sigh.

So anyways its lunch time at this very point im typing this. The evening session will be quite relaxing i wpuld say and i need to go to the eye clinic again later for my follow up anddd i have no idea what im babbling about now.

Okay so, im going back tonight taking a bus at 11pm. Thats the earliest i can get so it seems since other time semua fully booked.

Btw im on leave from 9th to 13th :T

so anyho the usual phrase..
SELAMAT HARI RAYA PEOPLEEEEEE
maaf zahir dan batin
kosong-kosong.
Actually i kinda didnt get what it meant when people kept saying kosong-kosong; and i was fikir and fikir like whaa fuck uh okay now that was what it meant. Duh.
So nak cakap jugak la taun ni.
KOSONG KOSONG OKAY PEOPLE?
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN EVERYTHING OKAY :)

numb

2010-09-05T00:48:00.003+08:00

raya is coming and i just dont feel like it.
im more excited for the cuti and the good food instead. sigh. is this bad?
definition of raya for me translates to either Sayu or Happy.
somehow Happy-phase was more in my early years of living, now its time for Sayu-phase ke? :( Double sigh. i want HAPPY.

denial

2010-08-31T22:57:00.005+08:00

and so there's a little doubt,
for getting hurt is not an option.

Safety first. As always. And you're free.

Blame on the Stars

2010-08-30T21:33:00.005+08:00

these are a few that i find it amusing and spot on!
all taken from @Sextrology on twitter

Imma Saggitarius
1. #ZodiacFacts The #Sagittarius is naturally intuitive, but there worst fault is procrastination. // ngahaha BLAME IT ON THE STARS BEBEH

2. #Sagittarius doesn't like constraint, and works best in jobs that offer complete freedom to call the shots: business owners. // i hate being tied down so yeah but i dont really do well with business orz

3. Sexstrology Sagittarius is turned off when you play hard to get. They want it now. // hmm can i apply it on things, perhaps? :/ I WANT IT, AND I WANT IT RIGHT NAO

4. ZodiacFacts #ZodiacFacts #Sagittarius can be reluctant to take on responsibilities, a little anti where rules and regulations apply. // :DDD

5. ZodiacFacts #ZodiacFacts A #Sagittarius love their freedom don't take them anywhere they will feel trapped or hedged in // HELL YEAH

The other Half ♥ :D
Libra

1. Sexstrology Charm is a Libra mans greatest asset. No sign has more charm than him.
// ♥

2. Sexstrology Libras are often drawn to artistic and creative careers. // yeah i guess so. half of him, yes.

3. Sexstrology Because Libra men are good looking, they tend to marry at a young age. // Ohhh

4. Sexstrology Libra husbands are very supportive of their wifes career. // heh.

5. Sexstrology The Diplomat of the Zodiac is Libra. // oh now that explains everything :}

oh why why me

2010-08-27T20:17:00.003+08:00

i hate this life. It lacks of luck. Lady luck sure do hates me. She always tends to ignore me.
Can i skip and go to another life now? sigh.

IM WORKING ON MY FREE MC. FML.

2010-08-26T13:02:00.001+08:00

bye bye free MC

2010-08-25T20:57:00.001+08:00

ive been having bad bad eye problem lately and its blurry whenever im using glasses. and i feel like im half blind even with glasses on and reading and paperwotks are such a pain.

Today it started to get red again and my boss kecik asked me to go back to the eye specialist to have another check just before my next apointment. aww so caring you say? NOT!

i was given two days MC and guess what i had to sacrifice those just because we're short of staff. tsk. :'(

twisted tuesday

2010-08-24T20:02:00.004+08:00

my morning started out with

1) the door chain clunking(?) at the door at 430am which disturbed my sleep as my room was just next to it and it freaks me out its 430 duh. my mind wandered off to some nasty place yaww :/

anyway it turns out it was my housemate going out to pickup her sister or something at the bus station.

2) my sahur time dragged to 520am, usually at this time im on my bed half sleeping already.

3) 530am i was having bad bad tummy ache which again, usually i'll try to ignore it untill i get up to take my shower but not today, i had to cause damn cannot tahan. ish!

4) continue sleep ;p

5) 0607am bangun and THERES NO FREAKIN WATER TO SHOWER!!

6) 0700 still no water and started being panicky!

7) 0725 called in office for emergency leave, but sadly boss kecik that woman turned me down saying i need to come in jugak and just have my shower kat office lah! fine.

8) 0740 panic attack round 2 ; having dilemma for what to bring :p

9) 0745 AIR DAH ADA! wohooooooo YEAH!!

10) 0745 called in office and let them know and asking for permission to be abit late heh.

11) 0815 pecah rekod yo! dah sampai office compaund.

12) target nak punch in at 0830 but turns out parking totally full.

13) had to walk all the way and selamat sampai punch in 0848!

PHEW!

okay there's more twisted things happened later in the evening but i dont feel like typing just so that its such a turn off when your keyboard and your battery span is not that cooperative with you. sigh. and it took me two days just to finish this up.

kbye.

the lover boy

2010-08-23T20:32:00.005+08:00

its been 41 months of together and i still cant get enough ♥

you've been through all the Hyde-side of my sea crazy stupidity, nerve wrecking behaviour, the compulsive mall-habits, unstable explosive hormones.

I have no idea how you've put up with that.

But thank you for being so.

And I'll try and behave next time and wont punch you again :p
provided you wont do any of your stunts and cari pasal when im not in the mood okay :p THE KEYWORD HERE IS MOOD.

ILUGGBB Mr. Zedan!

Dusty house

2010-08-23T20:02:00.004+08:00

im sorry bloggie for ive been neglecting you lately :(
ive been spending time on TWITTER now

ever since ive gained the ability to go online on mobile WOOT! and FUCKYEAHIVEGOTMYN97MINIIIII
but yeah IPHONE is still teh s3x tho. Grrr.
and no, i still didnt set it as my primary phone. sigh.

anyway my lappie starting to get strange and act all weird now. all sign and symptoms has appeared by
a) alot of missing letters (its been awhile now has it -last year perhaps?)
b) i cant plug my charger and use it the same time, or it'll shut down immediately after i plugin :|
c) its battery doesnt last that long (1 1/2 hours max) damn frustrating when ur'e in the middle of ecstasy of lurking and dvds!

oh please please good ol lappie please dont die on me yet i still do need you orz
we have good memories together ;_; dont rest just yet.

butterflies, baby!

2010-07-30T13:39:00.002+08:00

the boyfriend came back from a super long military like brain sucking camp last night. Okay maybe not so super its the 17th to 29th july but god it feels like forever. And now we're going on a date marathon to claim everything ngahahaha

and i have butterflies. It feels like im going on a first date or something lol

its lunch hour and another half more to go and im off!

I cant wait ♥

Mistakes

2010-07-22T02:35:00.001+08:00

at this point im half sleeping packing and blogging at the same time. I should finish up packing by morn, as the van that we loaned are coming after work around 5 so iguess its impossible to be still packing tomorrow but i think i need to talk with em parents so that they'll come a bit later cause from the looks of it i dont really see any big difference in the room from the start. Its still full of..rubbish.

anyway i seriously need to learn on how to live, is there any guide book on living for the dummies? Im doing the second biggest mistake in my life again, i have no idea when will i learn and see things clearly and able to think clearly. God, im so dumb. Beyond dumb i think. Its the second big mistake now. I just hope there wont be any third and forth and the rest. Amin.

and i should settle my issues with my inner self and be at peace or something. Its the soul that making me this way. I just cant seem to put myself at ease and enjoy life as how it is and stop being so unsatisfied and... Okay basicly i need to chill now and just set my mind on things and just try not to change my mind every 2 seconds.

I change my mind so very easily. One moment i was bitching and cursing, the second i was loving it to the point of regreting for what ive done. I have a sick mind. Yes. I need help.

Jiwa kacau is the word for it.

I guess i need to muhasabah diri and try to get back to Him. I admit i havent been good lately and that just might be the reason to my disturbed soul.

DECISIONS

2010-07-20T19:24:00.001+08:00

please tell me how to make a good one. Cause i kept doing the same ol same ol mistakes. When will i learn. Or am i that dumb to even see it clearly? When the things that i thought i've done it perfect thats when it was the worst.

the one on life decisions

2010-07-20T01:18:00.002+08:00

it seems so hard now once you've grownup its impossible to see the word happy. or being happy as a matter of fact. somewhat its no longer in the dictionary. its all about decisions. one decision that leads to another. and the worse part is that once you choose that path, then you're fully responsible for the things you've decided. how to bear the consequences is whole lot another chapter. even when you're trying to learn how to live and the mistakes you're trying to learn, it doesnt really matter anyway. it doesnt really care about you. mistakes or no mistakes, it gives no shit about how you're coping.

i just dont understand.

something so near i can almost feel it then suddenly i just have to let it go just like that. no matter how hard ive worked so hard to be able to get those. thats the most disappointing ever. the one you've worked hard and its yours but you just have to let go for the sake of others.

surprisingly i dont feel anger

i feel numb instead, somewhat confused actually and sad for the most part.

it'll take quite some time now till i'l ever wanted to work hard for something that i wanted so damn bad after this. it feels the same tho, whether you work hard or not the after is quite the same.

so why bother.

tell me now what's the difference between being behind bars and being tied down to an invincible chain.

2010-07-20T00:35:00.007+08:00

June Vacation

2010-07-17T21:50:00.010+08:00

like wow this is ancient but im going to do this or it will never be.
and since im not so in denial phase now, i can now think straight :D uh..well almost.

okay so we had a short vacation to Penang my home that is, on the 25th till 28th June ♥
it was the most relaxing cum awesomest vacay i had in 2010. i wish we had moreeee la weiiiiii
most proly i feel relaxed is the thought that im in my own home kot? lol

okay it started on Friday 25th;
where aki, mE and aizat pick me up in Taiping, or they have nowhere to stay muahaha unless they resort to paid accomodation that is :B so after i join them like most of the time random plans came in where aizat suggested or asking(?) whether we wanted to take a round in Taiping first before heading out to Penang and so we came out with this brilliant idea to go to the Night Safari and as you can see none of us were not so into this Zoo thingy and the last time anyone of us went to one was agesssss ago

and turns out Night Safari was not that quite exciting as i thought it would be. The lights were so dim, we can hardly see the animals, PLUS most of them were hiding and sleeping! okay so it was called Night for a reason i guess. but i thought most animals were nocturnal? D:

Okay moving on to the 2nd Day on Saturday the 26th;
being home have its downside it makes you feel relaxed and unpressurized but when you're in a vacation things like sleeping-in and whatnot's are not that welcoming? cause we planned out the night before to wake up a bit early but we ended up at noon for most of the days actually. but yeah having a good night rest is a luxury too

so we went on to the Penang War Museum at noon. gosh i never really knew something so historic were here. and it reminds me how grateful i am to be living in Merdeka era and in a civilized days T_T

Later on we had lunch in Queensbay and them the 3, were so amazed on how often can you go out from a multilevel carpark and see the ocean-view straight ahead. lolol okay so the lunch were not so fullfilling for us or so as mE says but i guess none of us were going to have more since everyone was on a tight budget it seems.

and we continued on a shoe hunting for aki and spotted on this gorgeous sandals which really really compliments her feet and which im the one whos really really love that shoe on her instead of aki herself lol thank you aki for having it T_T atleast if i dont get to have one, she has it which suited her to the core ♥

we spent the evening camwhoring in Batu Feringhi by the beach and had a stroll along the Feringhi Walk bazaar which i found this plain beach maxi dress that i adore and couldnt keep my mind of them for 2 days and i just had to have them on the 2nd day which we ended up getting a lower bargain out of sympathy from that auntie since we came back to her even on the 2nd day! HAH. how often do people really do that! ngehehehe

PS/ im so so sorry to have to drag you guys back to Batu Feringhi and hearing me kept on whining about the dress on and on and on orzzzz

Sunday the 3rd day;
and so we were sposed to get up early again but as i say earlier when youre in home environment you dont really feel the urge to do so. anyway we started at noon eventually and heading to north, Chowrasta Market to be precise for aki to get some jeruk and cendol. and oh we went to the Penang sunday market or so which was held for the very last that month i think? and aki and me scored ourself this identical angel-wing ring at a bargain price of rm7! aferwards we headed back south to Balik Pulau for Pasir Panjang beach where the crowds are much less and the beach are much cleaner the downside here is that they dont provide with public washroom or smth to change. Anyho it was such a short stay as it was getting dark and it started drizzling, what a bummer :( and we had fewer camwhoring compared to the previous batu feringhi.
and so we continued our journey around the island and stopped by at the Teluk Bahang reservoir for a camwhoring session again! ♥ which we ended up with numerous lovely lovely pics :)

Monday the 4th day;
by morning everyone was in denial mode and reality kicks in as it was time for us to head back to home. we went on a ferry ride across, it was breezy and quick (not often tho that i get to ride only a few minutes of waiting) might be the luck that day or simply they upgraded their service with more ferries idk. and on the highway somehow someone came up with an idea for me to join them all the way back to kl just so that i was whining and whining of not wanting to go back to Taiping, and when they finally persuaded and i gave in to the idea, everyone gave up to the idea (according to mE's post x) ) and yeah i really did glad we gave up since the day spent with lazing around and not doing anything and adjusting to the post vacay denial phase lol

okay so that's pretty much what still fresh in my mind ♥

Gah
i WANT MORE TRIPS AND VACAYYYY OH PLEASEEEEE T_T

Post vacay mood syndrome

2010-06-28T19:37:00.002+08:00

i'm so so so in denial right now. HALP. wuu T_T

FREAKINNN DUUUUUUDEE

2010-06-16T00:14:00.006+08:00

THE HELL THERES NO DIGI BROADBAND COVERAGE IN TAIPING?!
well according to the DG coverage map that is.

FUCK NOW IM WORRIED. reaaaaallly worried.

i dont like this. this is bad. it feels suffocating, when you're in uncovered places.
i mean yeah i don't use one, planning on switching..now that its not in the network..
but still no DIGI? THE F LA WEH?

the uber fake ideology

2010-06-15T23:38:00.003+08:00

you know how sad it is when one talks and claims such bombastic ideology, but in reality such thing dont exist and its only a mere plastic? well yeah im so anti this so called ideology and the effin fucked-up organization they claim to be so perfect.

and apparently we slaves, are so not what they claimed being the priority.

and obviously our health are so not their concern aswell. they don't effin care . you may die for all they care.

fuck the day that ive commited myself to these system. feels like ive somehow commited suicide, theres no difference anyway between those.

hope is so overrated

2010-06-15T17:47:00.002+08:00

i fell flat on teh face yet again.

lets just say i'm in the BLABLABLA and they gave me the licence to BLA!

2010-06-07T19:43:00.004+08:00

killers was awesome. ASHTON WAS AWESOME :D

last weekend doesnt feel like weekend.it went by so fast. is it just me or the world seems to go by faster now? ITS FRICKIN JUNE NAO. half of the year passed.

and new year was like still fresh in my mind?

anyways i had bad eye infection lasted till sunday. wished it lasted more :T attended cousin's wedding, went to spine treatment as usual watched killers. and someonesomeone complained that i haven't been myself lately.. sigh im sorry. really am. blame the fucking work, distance and traveling that has finally caught up with me. it's tiring :( fuck u la distance. i hate you, do you know that.

ps/ OMG CONGRATS SAYANGGGGG DAH DAPAT HKL! WOOT! goodluck nanti lapor diri on the 14th ♥ nyehehehe no more late nights la pasni, ur officially a BLABLABLA ROBOT SLAVE like the rest of us for the rest of your life! no more goyangkaki tanam anggur watermelon dahhhhh NGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

work-zombie left her phone in the office

2010-06-01T17:40:00.003+08:00

i haven't been able to keep my mind off work lately. and to make it worse even in the movies my mind still kept on wandering off back at work planning on what and how with whom to do. and oh yeah ada satu hari on saturday i even freak out worrying i might be late to work and planning the things what and what i should do first sigh

this is bad. i'm starting to evolve into some workaholic zombies fck orz

anyways i've finally got myself a haircut last 2 weeks okay maybe not so, its just a mere trim as i'm starting to get attach/comfortable with this kind of length. besides i have absolutely no idea to do some drastic haircut lagi :( would love to rock some pixie but not until i .get a plastic and get myself a high wide cheekbones and narrow cheeks, wide forehead with strong jawline pixie would just have to wait until i'm dead dead bored or super stressed out to happen.

but yeah i did highlighted my hair tho :D

spose to be blue black very dark bluish color but i came out as medium brown or so as the stylist say :/ and now i do feel like i've copied aki somehow since she have the same color and besides she highlighted hers first...kinda motivated tho _; im sooo sorry aki orzzz but now mine somehow fading into this blonde/karat type and zedan kept on insisting that im turning into a chia sigh i want to color it again :( please please don't let that damn stylist manipulate again orz

btw as im typing this entry, my phone is in the office.
now look how WORK ZOMBIE-ish i am. i even left my phone there. totally cutting off social access orz thank god for my internet access tho.

TELEPORT ME NOW, PLEASE?

2010-05-25T23:50:00.002+08:00

i hate distance. stupid distance that separates. between me and the things i LOVE. i hate being away. being away sucks. away from mom dad my bed my HOUSE FRIENDS LOVER.

i'm nowhere near those, i'm being in the middle of nowhere. ALONE.

it's been... awhile now.. i'm here and i rather not know for how long it's been, and i'm still not settling or adjusting yet despite it's been so long now does it? sigh i wont and i wouldnt want to.

there's just
nobody
nothing
none..

here :(

it's depressing. really.

random blaber just for the sake of update

2010-05-19T00:33:00.003+08:00

there's just nothing much to update or write on here other than i hate working, work sucks the town sucks (just because im not with the boify and homies, if not it'll rock my ass of just like any other town minus the malls ) but i guess you already know that by now. yeah i hate the idea of working im a lazy sloth liddat D: but oh hell bless me for having an awesome job to be able feed myself and my future kidsss HAHA

other than that, im getting thinner yo. while my otherhalf ♥ is gaining. fml

BEAVER FEVER

2010-05-04T23:31:00.002+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHH omg this is too cute !!1!

good god, i would have fainted if i were CHEYENNE 8DDDDD

damn he's so sweet <3

door to hell

2010-04-28T20:08:00.013+08:00

for full article here

gila scary orz

post-it notes

2010-04-28T19:36:00.003+08:00

the random 5

2010-04-28T17:59:00.002+08:00

1. going back home this weekend, should i or should i not cut my hairrrrrrrrr

2. being the one who's incharge for the day is no fun. :( i'll be alone lagi esok. when will ths enddd.

3. i want bb or mini demit D:

4. everytime i clean up my room, the mess somehow will find its way back again!

5. im tireddddd. nak Zzzz tapi somehow macam buat lagi penat je(?) i want energy booster D:

if only i can suck up other people's meat D:

2010-04-27T15:53:00.005+08:00

god damn i've no idea whats going on with you Ms Body. nak gain macam mati susah, dah gain now you're losing like nobodies business. i've lost effin 5 kilos because of you. Do you have any idea how hard and how long it takes for me to gain those? now my jeans getting all loose. i might aswell not having any weight at all, ZEROkg, none, nada, kosong.

stupid metabolism. you're working too hard. slow freakin down!

GET ME A FUCKING TIME MACHINE

2010-04-27T12:16:00.005+08:00

if i ever haven't known you, life would be so much easier and less stressful.

FUCK YOU.

I WANT THESE BABIESSSS

2010-04-26T22:31:00.005+08:00

mini or bb :(

i've been lusting these babies since for ever

when will i get oneeeeeeeeee :( sighsighsigh

for fck sake

2010-04-26T22:20:00.002+08:00

and you just have to make my life miserable. saying words that hurts. doing things i hate. i have given you all the freedom in the world and yet you still choose to say those things. and by doing that, are you aware that you're making me hate you bit by bit? i can't freaking change those things in one night .go wild and let loose for all i care. that's what the freedom is for you dumbass.

screw you.

pinprickly

2010-04-22T19:26:00.005+08:00

why oh why does bossy people which they're not even a freakin boss ever exists which makes other's lifes miserable even a REAL one does not do such things?

god, they're such a torture!

RANDOM VOODOO DOLL #2

2010-04-13T18:09:00.003+08:00

i hate you. you're such a big fat hypocrite liar.

/stabstabstabstabstabstabstabs
stabstabstabstabstabstabstabs
stabstabstabstabstabstabstabs
stabstabstabstabstabstabstabs
stabstabstabstabstabstabstabs
stabstabstabstabstabstabstabs
stabstabstabstabstabstabstabs
stabstabstabstabstabstabstabs
stabstabstabstabstabstabstabs

ps/ somehow by imagining the stabbing ritual reliefs me lol :D

random #567

2010-04-12T19:41:00.006+08:00

GERAM. nak je pijak-pijak.

LIKE BABY, BABY, BABY, NO!

2010-04-12T19:21:00.003+08:00

LIKE HELL HES ADORABLEEEEEEEEEEEE ♥!!

i didnt realize it was a HE too until i read it here and watched his vid. anyhoo whats the deal with people hating him? his way too adorable for all i care ahhhhhhhhhhh

HALP

2010-04-12T02:34:00.003+08:00

AHHHH rambut dah panjang!

potong ke simpan
potong ke simpan
potong ke simpan
potong ke simpan
potong ke simpan
potong ke simpan
potong ke simpan
potong ke simpan
potong ke simpan

:(

i just hate the awkward length phase
sigh

2010-04-11T02:29:00.002+08:00

currently at home now. it's been awhile...

god, i LOVE my bed ♥

to those it may concern ;
Woi cepat ar datang penang! D:

five

2010-04-07T18:51:00.002+08:00

things that is keeping me alive here

1. online
2. movies/dvds
3. bowl
4. tesco/watson/guardian
5. sleep

going to do number 3 again tonight.

geng kalah belanja minum, yo! :D

I WANT A VOODOO DOLL SO I CAN STAB PEOPLE IN THE HEART LIKE THEY DID TO ME

2010-04-07T18:40:00.003+08:00

oh wth. why am i human anyway. i hate you. go away.

/STABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTAB
STABSSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTAB
STABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSSTABSTABSTAB
STABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSSTABSTABSTAB
STABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSSTABSTABSTAB
STABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSSTABSTABSTAB
STABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSSTABSTABSTAB
STABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSSTABSTABSTAB
STABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSSTABSTABSTAB
STABSTABSTABSTABSTABSTABSSTABSTABSTAB

tagtagtag

2010-04-07T01:04:00.002+08:00

stolen from Aizat's, was not tag but WTH im doing it anyway just cause im in the mood with nothing better to do :D

1) Five names that people call you :

* fira
* mus
* fi
* lil
* burung

2) Five important dates in your life :

* 18/03
* 01/09
* 09/09
* friends and siblings bday
* 28/03

3) Five things you have done yesterday :

* work
* work
* online
* sleep early
* WTF I HAVE NO LIFE /depressed

4) Five ways to be happy :

* SHOPSHOPSHOPSHOP! :D
* Friends and family sihat sejahtera.
* LOVE
* Holidayyyyyy
* FOOD

5) Five favourite movies :

* Lord of the Ring Triology
* The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
* The Lion King
* The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* Forest Gump

6) Five favourite hobbies :

* Reading
* movies
* Spending time with family and friends
* Traveling
* i have no idea what else OTL

7) Five favourite people :

* Sasha fierce
* Jess Stam
* J. Depp! :D
* Ryan Reynolds
* omg im sorry i've turned it into fav famous people orz

8) Five favourite places for vacation :

* Ireland
* Disneyland
* Bali?
* London
* Legoland!

9) Five reasons you answer the survey :

* I'm bored
* bored
* still bored
* in the mood :d
* It's been a while since I answered a survey?

10) Five persons to tag :

*anybody
*anybody
*anybody
*anybody again
*somebody?

PS. i'm sorry aizat for having some of your answers ._.

random #202

2010-04-07T00:51:00.003+08:00

via tiresome

I WANNA BE AN AMOEBAAAAAAAA

SPREAD THE WORD

2010-04-06T20:40:00.004+08:00

please please do support and spread the "90 days for mums" petition peopleeeee

we're with the least maternity leave in southeast asia.
i'd like to spend some quality time with my future newborn please, don't you too? ):

heartbreaking

2010-04-06T19:45:00.006+08:00

its been a while now since moca's gone. the empty aquarium is killing me. but the thought of having another hammie feels like im betraying moca and it doesn't feel right :( the guilt is just unbearable.

sigh

little love

2010-03-26T23:51:00.004+08:00

Moca in loving memory

i always wanted a pet hamster ever since i was a kid, i fell in love with hamsters. back then it was love at first site. but my parents wouldnt let me have them, my mom was the one who strongly against saying it was a rat family and that having them would atract rats to our home and such lol anyways the main reason i so wanted them was also the fact that theres this trend back then where theres colourful tunnels and tubes for hammies, yes? and i so love watching them go through running back and forth those tubes idk it was fun watching ♥ and yet everytime i ask the parents would give a FIRM NO so i gave up hope since then but not until im big enough to take care and earn my own money to take care of those cute creatures they say.

back in the college days the thought of having them still lingers and i was about to share with a roomate since shes interested too but then the rest of the housemate were not that fond of the idea and besides we were doing practicum posting in various places so having a pet was not that practical.

and again it was been put off.

anyways i've finally gotten myself a pet hamster back in October 2008
its been 1 year plus.
25th march 2010, and she's gone now. Moca, my Moca.
may you rest in peace up in hammie heaven my little love
im so sorry if i ever neglected you and i admit ive been doing it so this past few days
sorry im not there went you needed most
i'm truly sorry if i've been mistreated you
you will always be remembered

Good bye now

BALLOON RIDE, not

2010-03-20T00:51:00.006+08:00

2nd Putrajaya International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta

like finally i had the chance to see it again LIVE. but somehow i'm not that excited since the last time i saw/ queued when i was like what, 8 years old? lol. that was in Penang anyways.long story short i was in the News Strait Times for the sake of balloons baby woot! (WITH my face on it of course) HEH :D we were the ones who'd been interviewed because of disappointment since we've waited and queued (back then it was free) since DAWN and when finally it was OUR TURN to ride in, THEY CLOSE the ride!?! we were like WTFFFFFFFFF. and so yeah i was in the paper because of it lol

so anyways the fiesta was fun nevertheless and there's even a DARTH VADER balloon too! with Starwars BGM included lol. but the darth vader couldn't fly since it was windy when his turn to take off, what a bummer. so we waited till 8 and went to pasar tani to get some food and headed back home.

btw was suppose to meet Sarah back then but somehow we got lost and couldn't find each other in that goddamn crowded place and gave up to find each other in the end sigh

and oh i've only had my camera phone with me so there's not much of pretty pictures ._.